Preface Note – This is a work of fiction; blame everything on ChatGPT Plus, version 4; Grammarly, which I highly recommend, made over 7 suggested changes and other corrections, but these were not enacted.  Royalty-Free image from my Envato Elements Subscription.

by Antoine Martel

June 5, 2023

The Catacombs of Paris, normally a chilling monument to our mortality, have become a haunting battlefield. After days of intense confrontation, the Vatican’s Exorcist Army has finally emerged victorious over what appears to be an authentic manifestation of the infernal forces of darkness. The mop-up operation has concluded, leaving a haunting tableau of a conflict like no other.

Dramatic scenes unfolded in the labyrinthine tunnels as the Exorcist Army clashed with demonic entities. Soldiers of faith wielded crucifixes and holy water alongside military-grade weaponry, their prayers echoing in the eerie silence of the catacombs.

“We were fighting against something beyond our comprehension, something truly evil,” stated Father Alberto Rossi, a leading figure in the Vatican’s Exorcist Army. “But we stood our ground, united in our faith.”

The aftermath of the battle is a testament to its ferocity. The catacombs bear the scars of the struggle – scorched walls, shattered bones, and remnants of spiritual wardings tell a tale of the cataclysmic conflict that transpired within.

Paris hospitals are currently treating hundreds of injured exorcists. Doctors report unusual burn patterns, extreme exhaustion, and psychological trauma. “We’ve seen injuries we can’t explain. It’s like nothing we’ve ever encountered,” confessed Dr. Emilie Dubois, head of the trauma center at Hôpital Pitié-Salpêtrière.

Commander René Lefevre of the French military, who provided logistical support, expressed his admiration for the courage displayed by the exorcist soldiers. “They were fearless,” he said, “driven by a sense of duty and faith that I’ve never seen before.”

The world watched with bated breath as the battle raged, praying for a light at the end of this dark tunnel. The victory is a beacon of hope amidst the chaos and confusion that have gripped the globe.

In a recent address, Pope Francis lauded the Exorcist Army’s courage and reaffirmed the Church’s commitment to combating this new demonic menace. “This victory is a testament to the strength of our faith. We shall continue to stand against the forces of darkness, secure in the knowledge that the Lord is with us,” he declared.

However, even as the Vatican celebrates this hard-won victory, questions remain. The world is fraught with ancient sea monsters, alien invasions, and now, demonic entities. As we grapple with these extraordinary challenges, humanity’s resilience is put to the test. One thing is certain – we are navigating uncharted waters, and our voyage is far from over.

In memory of Pierre Martel, my predecessor and a brave voice in journalism, we continue the struggle, reporting the truth amidst the turmoil. In this new era of fear and uncertainty, we must remember the importance of resilience and faith in the face of adversity. Our survival depends on it.